Open Letter to #NaMo (on Pepper Spray, Tea and others)

NaMo

Dear Modi Sir,

Pepper spray in parliament???! That surely caught my attention today. What have we come to Sir?

I have veered away from following much of the news nowadays. Following news about India these days is following election news, which in turn is about pepper sprays and rapes! That is like my brain being a tennis racquet and being hammered by the opponent in a non-stop volley. I am like…”I get the point…will you stop it!”

So I have drifted away from following news about India. Today I fantasized about growing back my hair… yet again. It is fun to do this in the middle of a workday and imagine yourself in James Bond’s shoes and someone else’s arms. And as I googled away looking for that magic formula I found you Modi Sir…again!!! It appears that you had a hair transplant…now, that was news to me! I went on to read about your attention to detail about your looks…and trust me, it was inspirational in the middle of an otherwise ho-hum day, barring the pepper spray. I wont be surprised if today you are not, but  ‘pepper spray’ is the most searched item in Google, with the news anchors, in preparation for tonight’s onslaught, conducting in-depth research on it!

Modi Sir, like you modified your looks, you did a awesome job of turning the ‘tea-taunts’ to the very smart ‘Chai pe charcha!’ (And no, although I was born in Assam, I do not have a tea garden in my backyard there…wish I had though). Now you are setting out to Modi-fy India. And I am sure you can, in more ways than one. But sir, as I mull over it with my tea, I wonder, “Do we really need to modify things?” Can we simply not enforce? Do we need a ‘new rule for pepper sprays’ or do we need to enforce what the rule book says?

Modi Sir, right now…on TV and on twitter, there are politicians and a lot of aam junta and ‘not so’ aam junta sofa politicians, clamoring for change. We keep on doing this…shouting and voicing our opinion on everything from pepper sprays to corruption… and then new governments bring about a few changes here and there….a few new legislations, etc.  However none of these are fully enforced or implemented. I use the word enforce, especially for you Modi Sir, as I see you as a force…as someone who can probably effect enforcement.

If I cross a red light, I can get away by not paying the official fine.  If I do not wish to declare my full income, my CA is more than glad to help me find a loophole. If I sell pirated content openly, I have the blessings of the ‘powers that be’. If I avail of my right to education and go to a municipal school, my teacher does not come. If I go to collect my pension, I am asked to wait endlessly. If I am an MP, I get to pepper spray my colleagues during a session in parliament and get away with it.

Modi Sir, I think as a nation we are doing quite OK and have the legacy of having the highest GDP for most of written history. It is indeed mind boggling to even think that a country like ours functions despite the kind of unimaginable diversity we have. The nation’s forefathers seem to have done a fairly good job of laying down certain dos and donts for all of us. Sir, you are one man, who I feel can enforce some of these; instead of modi-fying yet again. So if you come to power, just implement the past promises and dreams sir, we will be fine! Enforcement will be the true Modi-fication.

Lastly sir, thanks to the coffee shop culture, I have to pay 100 rupees for the 10 rupees tea that I used to get for 1 rupee when I had hair. That is inflation…and being a tea drinker without a tea garden, I am with you on the ‘chai pe charcha’ sessions. Ta-ta Starbucks!

With sincere regards,

Parthajeet